How to accept someone’s choice even though you don’t understand it.
Someone makes a choice you simply do not understand. The consequences may or may not touch your life, involve you, affect you and so on. One way or another you cannot see what they are basing their decision on. This is the part that makes accepting their choice so difficult. I am going to break this down into two parts.
Part One: Understanding
Take the view that:
Everybody has the right to see life through his or her own eyes, the right to their own reality.
Their reality will be based on experiences they have had so far in their life.
These experiences will have formed their beliefs, values, goals, point of view, etc.
Accepting and thereby respecting their choice means you are not judging them.
Ask yourself: “What gives you the right to judge someone?” or “What gives you the right to believe you know what is right for him or her?” If you think about this, it is quite presumptuous.
Hopefully at this point you can interrupt your desire to explain their choice to yourself.
Part Two: Acceptance
To truly accept means not to have any conditions attached to this acceptance. As mentioned before, each person has a right to their own reality to see life through his or her own eyes.
These lyrics come to mind: “If You Love Someone, Set Them Free”. Accept them and let them go.
Letting go of any conditions attached to your acceptance is how you set them free. A few examples of “conditions” are: what you believe is right, what you think about how life should be – basically any “condition” that involves a judgement by you.
To further help with your acceptance ask yourself: “What will I lose if they do something I do not understand?”
Finding the open-heartedness to look beyond yourself – this is setting someone free. Let them be who they are, follow their own path, be true to their own values. You will be surprised how good you will feel.
Love them for who, how, and what they are. By doing this you are respecting their choices. Helping yourself reach the place of being able to respect their choices is also setting yourself free and gaining/holding on to your Personal Power.
